4 questions to ask to achieve an intimate and long lasting friendship.
Humans are social being. We are designed to form a relationship with others in order to live. Relationship may come in many form and today we want to focus on friendship. Friendship can sometimes be tricky. People want different forms of friendship. Some wants more intimate and close friendship, but others, enjoy the shallow just for laugh and fun kind of friendship. However, in any forms of friendship, there’s no doubt that two individuals are involved. So how do you achieve a healthy, intimate and long lasting friendship?
Ask these 4 questions to yourself:
Are you being yourself around your friend? If not, you may probably end up get overwhelmed by the pressure and feel lonely as you sacrifice your true self for others. If your friend cannot accept you for who your are, he or she may not be your true friend.
Are you being able to trust or be trusted by your friend? Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It can open doors for honest conversation and sense of security. It’s important that you can trust yourself first before you can trust or be trusted by others.
Are you a good problem solver? If no, chances are that you avoid conflict and you may try to resolve what’s bothering you not with the person of conflict but instead letting it out to someone else which makes friendship even unhealthy. A message that is sent only from 1 party is often not accurate. Even worse when that message is sent to other people by a third party. Human has this great ability to “twist” a message. A true message is almost impossible to be communicated through many medias (in this case , people). In a group setting, conflict often rises because each individuals do not want to resolve the conflict openly. Bitching about someone or even telling your part of the story to someone won’t help in resolving any conflicts.
Are you flexible and understanding? If you expect 50:50 of all time in friendship, chances are, you’ll get disappointed. Often times in friendship, a person may need to give 70 in the relationship until the other person is ready to give 50. If on average it is a 50:50 effort in pursuing the relationship, it might worth fighting and maintaining for.
Forming a healthy relationship with others, let it be a friendship, marriage or family, it starts from a healthy relationship within yourself, with yourself. Resolve whatever insecurities, self doubt and start accepting you for who you are. Then, you’ll be able to transcend that to forming a relationship with others.
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